Sep 16

To sing to your children

There once was a little very naughty boy
Who slept one night before he cleaned up his toys
So the tooth fairy came and stuck nails in his eyes
And then Santa arrived and force-fed him some pie.


The pie was made of the boy’s parents and cat
But with nails in his eyes, the boy couldn’t see that
So he ate it all up: claws, earholes, and hair;
The Easter Bunny arrived, and screwed the boy to a chair.


The three holiday figures, thus so enraged
Taunted the lad, and then had him tazed.
For seventeen days, the boy starved and he cried:
"Kill me please!" but those bastards still kept him alive.


And then when he thought he couldn’t take any more
They told him exactly what they had in store
The rest of his fate is too awful to tell,
So go to sleep now, little child… and sleep well.

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