Jul 05

I Just Found This

I’m reorganizing my documents folder on my computer (a huge task… it hasn’t been properly sorted out since 1996), and I found a document that contains the character descriptions for the play I wrote for a fundraiser back in 2000 (‘Come Play with Yourself’).


The character description page makes the play sound much better than it was.  It’s written in a peculiar style, because the fundraiser consisted of people bidding on which part they would get to play.


For your perusal:


The Sacrifice Of Rachel Burnings


Rachel Burnings has just leapt to her death from the 23rd floor of a high rise apartment, apparently because Rick is much more preoccupied with his manifesto than he is with her. All Rick is trying to do is ignore all distractions (including Rachel’s death and the intrusions of Lee, the building security guard) and finish his precious manifesto. Meanwhile, Toby attempts to grow a spine.

There is also a reference to Schrödinger’s Cat.




RICK BURNING: A big part, in lines and girth. Rick, a 350-pound intellectual holds the play together with his flamboyant, loud, obnoxious behaviour. A lot of fun.

Instruct him to remove himself and his delusions from my apartment before I am forced to attack him with this plastic fork…!”

TOBY SMALL: Rick’s roommate. Mostly under Rick’s thumb, he occasionally shows signs of a backbone. He is the most down-to-earth character in the play.

“Schrodinger’s cat? Are you talking about the old guy who lives down the hall from us who smells like—“

LEE INSANE: Another tenant in the building who is under the delusion that he is a security guard for the apartment building. He always hears really loud imaginary music in his head.

“You can’t treat an officer of the law that way!”

LEE’S MOTHER (MRS. INSANE): An overprotective mother who will do anything to protect her son.

“Son, I do believe I’ve killed him.”

RACHEL BURNING: The driving force behind the play, she is Rick’s wife. She believes that she is a sexual messiah.

“After five years, it’s time to consummate our marriage.”

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