Tag Archive: Canadian shitports

Feb 05

Lester B. Pearson is Spinning in his Grave

I don’t know really who Lester B. Pearson was. A Prime Minister maybe? Far too lazy to check wikipedia on the LesterBPearsonairport’s shitty WiFi, and that’s really part of my point.

 

If I’m ever famous and people decide to name something after me, this is my request: if it’s something shitty, please don’t.

 

As I said, I don’t know much about Lester B. Pearson and what he stood for, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t stand for shitty WiFi and rude security gate personnel.

I mean, seriously, lady, I know you do this all day long, but most of us travel less than once a year, and every fucking airport has different security protocols, so if we don’t instantly get things right, a little fucking patience is in order. I mean, security all over the world makes us basically deconstruct our carry-on luggage and clothing:

Wallet and change, check
Cell phones, check
Laptop PCs, check
Liquids in ziplocks, check
Scarves, hats, and jackets, off
Boots with steel toe, off
Belt with metal buckle, off
Metal watch, off
Cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil, extracted

And then, we have to organize it in trays based on a random system.
”No boots in trays!” <—well, at some airports they go in trays
”Large purse goes in a tray!” <—in a lot of airports they don’t
We managed to guess everything else right this time.

Also:
”Take the baby out of the carrier to go through the metal detector.” <—our carrier has no pockets; my wife thought the lady was joking.
”Mummble mumble baby mumble through.” <—what? we can’t take the baby through? No answer. Woman on the other side: “bring the baby through.”

It’s not like she’s good at her job and was just being impatient that we weren’t. She forgot to put through a bag belonging to a man who went through two people in front of us. This got us scolded by another security working trying to hurry us along until we explained that it wasn’t ours, nor did it belong to the woman in front of us, but we were stuck behind it because they hadn’t processed it.

Also, this is one of the only times I can think of that the security staff person didn’t move our bags and trays along the conveyor herself. It was kind of a sticky conveyor, and not as roll-y as they tend to be, and I was pushing, but she just stood there waving as I struggled to move about five trays

Ugh.

 

Anyway, Hammy and wife are back now so got to wrap this up.

 

P.S. I also don’t think Lester B. Pearson stood for no baby seats in the toilets or the cafeterias. I mean seriously, it’s not like terminal one was built in the 70s.