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Jul 05

HOW BABIES ARE MADE

Do I really need to explain this to you? Sigh…

 

When a Mommy and a Daddy love each other very much, they hug each other really tightly and then write a letter to Santa Claus, who forwards it to the West Pole, where lives the Giant Stork, who takes a baby from his magical cabbage patch (grown from teeth collected by the Tooth Fairy), and after wrapping it up in an enormous cloth, takes off (note: the baby is so heavy that to get airborne, the Giant Stork needs to be towed down the runway by five Easter Bunnies), and flies to the Mommy and Daddy’s house and drops it in the Mommy’s arms. Sometimes the Mommy is so scared that she needs to go to the hospital and have a Doctor yell at her to breathe. Then the doctor spanks the baby for scaring Mommy, and tells Mommy to lose all that weight she gained being lazy and waiting for the Giant Stork to bring the baby.

 

Sometimes, if Mommy smokes crack, the Giant Stork saves everybody time and just takes the baby straight to the dumpster.

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